Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
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Constants aren't; Variables don't.
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Keep your mouth shut and people will think you're stupid;
Open it and you'll remove all doubt.
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F U CN RD THS U CNT SPL WRTH A DM!
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Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
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There's no future in time travel.
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Never hit a man with glasses; hit him with your fist.
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If it works, don't fix it.
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Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
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Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
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We are the Knights who say:  MOVE.L  USP,A1
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Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
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3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
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..Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
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A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
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For people who like peace and quiet:  a phoneless cord.
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I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
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Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
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Madness takes its toll.  Please have exact change.
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I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
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Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
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I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
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If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
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If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
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Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.
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Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd.  All wights wesewved.
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Dain bramaged.
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What has four legs and an arm?  A happy pit bull.
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Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
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Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
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My software never has bugs.  It just develops random features.
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The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
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BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
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The name is Baud......, James Baud.
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Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
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Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
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As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
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Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
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.. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
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definition of Ethernet: Something used to catch the Etherbunny
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Headline reads 'World Wide Web broken: Spiderman at large'
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An error?  Impossible!  My modem is error correcting.
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CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted:  Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
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Does fuzzy logic tickle?
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A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
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12th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
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24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
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Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
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Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
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SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
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Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
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Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
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Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
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Computer, n.:
A device designed to speed and automate errors.
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Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
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Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
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Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
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"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
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Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
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Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
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Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
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Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
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REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
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Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"
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Read my chips: No new upgrades!
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Hit any user to continue.
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2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
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I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
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Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
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Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
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Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
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(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
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(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
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If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then
programming must be the process of putting them in.
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Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
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Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of
conversing with inanimate objects.
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Real programmers don't document.  If it was hard to write,
it should be hard to understand.
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Dolphins are so intelligent that within a few weeks they can train Americans
to stand at the edge of the pool and throw them fish.
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The C Programmer: Most commonly seen waving a piece of paper around saying 
"I bet you can't guess what this does"
The Lisp Programmer: 43,42,41,40,39,38, Wheres that missing bracket...
The ADA Programmer: Found in a corner reading the manual to decide if it is
legal to add two integers.
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Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer, then you find
there is nothing in it.
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Lewis's Law of Travel:
The first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn't belong to anyone, ever.
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Imagine that Cray computer decides to make a personal computer.  It has
a 150 MHz processor, 200 megabytes of RAM, 1500 megabytes of disk
storage, a screen resolution of 1024 x 1024 pixels, relies entirely on
voice recognition for input, fits in your shirt pocket and costs $300.
What's the first question that the computer community asks?

"Is it PC compatible?"
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Command, n.:
Statement presented by a human and accepted by a computer in
such a manner as to make the human feel as if he is in control.
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If anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
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Avoid rape - say yes!
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If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
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The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to constants;
instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the
variable PI can be given that value with a DATA statement and used
instead of the longer form of the constant. This also simplifies
modifying the program, should the value of pi change.
FORTRAN manual for Xerox computers
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How many Bill Gates' does it take to change a light bulb?
One, he just puts the light bulb in and lets the world revolve
around him.
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The next war will determine not what is right, but what is left.
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I no longer fear Hell, for I have used Windows.
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Reality is for people who lack imagination.
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"Du musst Shift gedrückt halten wenn du ein mp3 runterladen willst !"
%%
